Archive for Danja

63. ‘LoveStoned/I Think She Knows’ by Justin Timberlake (2007)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 24, 2010 by G.K. Reid

 ‘Doin’ the pigeon… doin’ the pigeon…’ – Bert from Sesame Street taught Justin all he knows

Justin’s such a little prick. I have a continuing love/hate relationship with the ‘jiggling little weasel’ (as Charlie Brooker put it), albeit mostly born out of envy. How come he gets to be handsome, suave, and funny, and dance and sing so impeccably, AND get paid for it too! I have all those qualities, and no-one’s paying me! I blame the lack of pushy stage-school parents (and Mickey Mouse) in my childhood.

Anyway, by the time he got around to releasing his second album, he’d worn my resistance down. But then the leading single was SexyBack! What an embarrassing abomination of a non-song, I thought, no-one is gonna buy this! And I realised that part of me still flickered with dark pleasure at the prospect of Justin falling flat on his over-achieving ass. Of course, SexyBack then went on to be his biggest-selling single yet and apparently adored by most of the Western world. But still, success isn’t everything. At least, in my heart, I knew that Justin had gone rubbish.

And then he releases this freaking song! This bloody beatboxing, violin-laden, fucking bongo-thon that proves to be as addictive as crack. And not only do I think that his voice has never sounded better than on this track… he now also PLAYS THE GUITAR??? And as much as I can cynically sneer that he only really plays guitar in the same way that Madonna plays the guitar, seeing as the song actually feels compelled to point out that he can now play the guitar… still, that’s more than I can play the freaking guitar.

And he doesn’t even have the decency to at least be an execrable actor. He was good in Black Snake Moan, and was a highlight in the unruly madness of Southland Tales.

So, you win, Justin. You little prick.

Bonus points:  Apparently Justin can do the music video equivalent of a Windows screensaver, and still bust moves that lead me to injure myself while trying to replicate them in the shower. (NB: don’t try that at home, kids)

77. ‘Gimme More’ by Britney Spears (2007)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 12, 2010 by G.K. Reid

She’s fine!

Even without the coinciding Greek tragedy of Britney’s tabloid-salivating meltdown, this track would retain its authentically sinister, seedy undertones.  The way the backing vocals warp as they intone ‘more!’, alternating between an exaggeratedly feminine and macho question and demand, and peaking with a compliant, orgasmic exclamation; the lyrical references to both sides of the voyeuristic gaze (which Britney insists is thrillingly erotic, but the queasy and primal musical arrangement suggests is a much darker, baser human impulse); the ‘Danja!/danger!’ sirens as the demands for ‘more’ are clearly being satisfied. Gimme More is very much a song for this century, as it positions the sexual act as audience entertainment and can’t conceive of an existence where someone isn’t watching, and there isn’t something to demand for oneself. 

Bonus points: This made for an excellent twofer with the hilarious philippic that is Piece of Me.