Archive for Justin Timberlake

48. ‘Signs’ by Snoop Dogg feat. Uncle Charlie Wilson and Justin Timberlake (2004)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on September 18, 2010 by G.K. Reid

As is often the case with Snoop Dogg, I have little-to-no idea what he’s babbling on about. But ‘Signs’ casually tosses off hooks aplenty, binds them together with punchy trumpets and an exemplary Timberlake guest-spot, and – thanks to the concisely dismissive ‘You ain’t no G’ – equipped me with a somewhat unlikely personal theme tune. 

Bonus points: The ‘Venus and Serena/Wimbledon arena’ rhyme. So simple it’s a wonder no one tried it before.


63. ‘LoveStoned/I Think She Knows’ by Justin Timberlake (2007)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 24, 2010 by G.K. Reid

 ‘Doin’ the pigeon… doin’ the pigeon…’ – Bert from Sesame Street taught Justin all he knows

Justin’s such a little prick. I have a continuing love/hate relationship with the ‘jiggling little weasel’ (as Charlie Brooker put it), albeit mostly born out of envy. How come he gets to be handsome, suave, and funny, and dance and sing so impeccably, AND get paid for it too! I have all those qualities, and no-one’s paying me! I blame the lack of pushy stage-school parents (and Mickey Mouse) in my childhood.

Anyway, by the time he got around to releasing his second album, he’d worn my resistance down. But then the leading single was SexyBack! What an embarrassing abomination of a non-song, I thought, no-one is gonna buy this! And I realised that part of me still flickered with dark pleasure at the prospect of Justin falling flat on his over-achieving ass. Of course, SexyBack then went on to be his biggest-selling single yet and apparently adored by most of the Western world. But still, success isn’t everything. At least, in my heart, I knew that Justin had gone rubbish.

And then he releases this freaking song! This bloody beatboxing, violin-laden, fucking bongo-thon that proves to be as addictive as crack. And not only do I think that his voice has never sounded better than on this track… he now also PLAYS THE GUITAR??? And as much as I can cynically sneer that he only really plays guitar in the same way that Madonna plays the guitar, seeing as the song actually feels compelled to point out that he can now play the guitar… still, that’s more than I can play the freaking guitar.

And he doesn’t even have the decency to at least be an execrable actor. He was good in Black Snake Moan, and was a highlight in the unruly madness of Southland Tales.

So, you win, Justin. You little prick.

Bonus points:  Apparently Justin can do the music video equivalent of a Windows screensaver, and still bust moves that lead me to injure myself while trying to replicate them in the shower. (NB: don’t try that at home, kids)

85. ‘Run (I’m a Natural Disaster)’ by Gnarls Barkley (2008)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 14, 2009 by G.K. Reid

Oh, Cee-Lo! Until I bought The Odd Couple album, I was unaware of the song title’s heartbreaking parentheses. Engrossed in this frenetic headlong plunge into psychedelic gospel, and what with its allegedly seizure-inducing but dancetastic video, it’s easy not to notice that it’s another verbalisation of Cee-Lo’s apparently profound (and, quite frankly, nonsensical) self-loathing. COME HERE, CEE-LO, YOU NEED A HUG!

Bonus points: Look, it’s Justin Timberlake! And look ,it’s Cee-Lo (kind of) running!