Archive for Timbo

63. ‘LoveStoned/I Think She Knows’ by Justin Timberlake (2007)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 24, 2010 by G.K. Reid

 ‘Doin’ the pigeon… doin’ the pigeon…’ – Bert from Sesame Street taught Justin all he knows

Justin’s such a little prick. I have a continuing love/hate relationship with the ‘jiggling little weasel’ (as Charlie Brooker put it), albeit mostly born out of envy. How come he gets to be handsome, suave, and funny, and dance and sing so impeccably, AND get paid for it too! I have all those qualities, and no-one’s paying me! I blame the lack of pushy stage-school parents (and Mickey Mouse) in my childhood.

Anyway, by the time he got around to releasing his second album, he’d worn my resistance down. But then the leading single was SexyBack! What an embarrassing abomination of a non-song, I thought, no-one is gonna buy this! And I realised that part of me still flickered with dark pleasure at the prospect of Justin falling flat on his over-achieving ass. Of course, SexyBack then went on to be his biggest-selling single yet and apparently adored by most of the Western world. But still, success isn’t everything. At least, in my heart, I knew that Justin had gone rubbish.

And then he releases this freaking song! This bloody beatboxing, violin-laden, fucking bongo-thon that proves to be as addictive as crack. And not only do I think that his voice has never sounded better than on this track… he now also PLAYS THE GUITAR??? And as much as I can cynically sneer that he only really plays guitar in the same way that Madonna plays the guitar, seeing as the song actually feels compelled to point out that he can now play the guitar… still, that’s more than I can play the freaking guitar.

And he doesn’t even have the decency to at least be an execrable actor. He was good in Black Snake Moan, and was a highlight in the unruly madness of Southland Tales.

So, you win, Justin. You little prick.

Bonus points:  Apparently Justin can do the music video equivalent of a Windows screensaver, and still bust moves that lead me to injure myself while trying to replicate them in the shower. (NB: don’t try that at home, kids)

76. ‘The Way I Are’ by Timbaland feat. Keri Hilson, D.O.E. & Sebastian (2007)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 12, 2010 by G.K. Reid

He ain’t got no Visa, love, I wouldn’t bother.

Timbaland is quite clearly the best thing to happen to music since Elvis. Ok, maybe not, but there’s no arguing with his achievements, and it was good to see him step out of the shadows last decade (not least because he has a lovely face and can’t go 10 seconds without doing that hilarious bug-eyes thing). Of course, he does himself no favours by apparently working with anyone who asks him. Maybe he has self-esteem issues, I dunno. But whatever it is… JUST SAY NO, TIMBO! Say no to Ashlee Simpson, say no to Duran Duran, say no to Chris Cornell!

Anyway, despite this song giving Keri Hilson a platform for a career (her vocals on this are fine, but she really should have known her limits), this is Timbo bringing his best propulsive beats, a rather touching advocation of love-over-money, and two flat-out hilarious raps by those two guys I’ve never heard of.

Bonus points: Thing is, Timbo HAS money. Need I remind you, he gets half a mil’ for his beats. You only get a couple gra-a-and.


87. ‘Try Again’ by Aaliyah (2000)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on December 13, 2009 by G.K. Reid

In some ways, this could easily have been More than a Woman or We Need a Resolution because, let’s face it: all Aaliyah songs are more or less interchangeable.  But only with each other, not with any other young r’n’b songstress.  The work Aaliyah and Timbaland produced together is unique; her vocals, filtered through Timbo’s box of tricks, achieve a kind of muted sensuality and an authentic suggestion of young, somehow specifically feminine, wisdom.

Bonus points: RIP